Week 4 - November 16

We are starting to tell more people about the potential outcome of these tests.  Our family and friends have been extremely supportive.  As we include more people on this journey, Janis and I feel an obligation to keep them informed, and that is one of the reasons for this blog.

Now we are in the fact gathering phase, using the Internet, brochures, books, other people’s blogs and meetings with friends who have battled some sort of cancer.  The information is both helpful, and also painful.  Not knowing what we are dealing with is extremely painful, and we can’t wait for this phase to be over. 

For anybody who is reading the blog and just found out they have cancer, consider reading the following link http://blochcancer.org/2009/02/letter-to-new-patients/

I had surgery on Wednesday (about 2 hours).  They took a biopsy of the lump and sent it to pathology for immediate testing while I was unconscious.  Sometimes conclusions can be made that allow the surgeon to alter the surgery plans.  In my case it was inconclusive.  He took 5 other biopsy’s in my nasal and throat areas.  It was great to have Janis, Tim and Allison there when I woke up.  They say I had a bit of fun with the staff as the anesthetic wore off, including asking for a white board and marker to do like they do on the TV show House and write down the differentials to figure out what it was.  I also asked where the sewing room was in the hospital because my wife is a cute as a button. 

The lump was not removed as it was pressing on the juggler vein.  He had prepared us for this fact and said he probably would not remove the lump. 

On Friday, a few days after the surgery, my legs began to ache, and I was not expecting this.  I went in for ultrasound and the concluded I did not have blood clots. 

At the same time, my doctor said we no longer could think this was nothing.  He said I had cancer, but they were still not sure what type. 

More worry, concern, sadness and hopelessness set in.  I HAVE CANCER.

A little background.  I eat more roughage than a racehorse.  I take 2000 mg of D3 per day.  I eat ground flaxseed for breakfast.  I take several omega 3 pills per day.  I have been on a healthy eating habit for several years.  I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I exercise more than most people.  I do weights on a regular basis.  I do yoga and meditation on a regular basis.  This could not be happening to me.  It just could not. 

We knew it would be about 1 week between the surgery and the test results from the biopsy.  The passing of time can be a wonderful thing, or it can be cruel.  We are living through the cruelest of time passage one could imagine.  There are 604,800 seconds in a week, and Janis and I are feeling each and every one of those slow and agonizing seconds. 

I woke up on Saturday and my legs felt better (not sure what actually happened).

Our plan of taking a month in Nicaragua (spanish school) and 2 months of running a Primary Health Care Brigade in La Ceiba Honduras were now destyroyed.

We felt our lives were unreal, only a nightmare, that we will wake up from at any time.  Tick/tock, time is dragging so slowly.

Anxiety and tears are the foundation of our days at this point.  At the end of this week, hope is at an all time low, and all our dreams are foggy and difficult to imagine.

This entry was posted on 2. December 2009 at 17:51 and is filed under Head & Neck Cancer Journey. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.